Sunday, January 15, 2012

Why should we really worry?

I begin my thoughts today thusly: Kilgore Trout, the renowned American sci-fi writer, wrote a book about a year at the beginning of which all the people on Earth simultaneously conjured the idea that they were going to be sent to a higher dimension at precisely 5 o'clock on June 2, 2049. AM
It was believed that those who possessed clean souls would wind up in the best locations of this new *, and form a faction around the beings or unbeings present. Humans, on the other hand, with tainted, degraded, deceitful and wayward souls, would find themselves in a * laden with war, jealousy, utter hatred, nuclear weaponry and unfaithful partners; some millions of light years away, no doubt.

Knowing that a little less than half a year on the planet was all that was left for them, people started becoming uneasy in each other's presence. 
Some of the first signs of this were the so-called speculation-jokes.
These speculation-jokes were foul and unmoral, and I have decided not to give an example of what one would normally look like.
Basically, they made fun of those of whom it was thought would be sent to the lesser-quality zone. 
And were most oftenly not funny.

Many cults were formed, families too. Businesses and lawyers' firms.
As a result of which the world began to look like an overpopulated ant farm.


What happened on the morning of June 2 (Western hemisphere) was "the biggest thing ever to occur on Earth", according to later reports made by nonhuman journalists. 
All the people waited for two hours, in which most everything was still as a bat.
And around 7:13 there was an earthquake, caused by the giant shuttle used by the extraterrestrials.
This rumbling of the ground was thought to be the beginning of everybody's travel to *
Those same nonhuman journalists later accepted the fact that the extraterrestrials had been unpunctual easily, as in space, nobody ever knew what time was.

There simply was no need.

Alas, after the extraterrestrials arrived, what ensued was a week of raping and pillaging.
One must certainly wonder what aliens would possibly want to pillage from the Earth, and the answer is "scarves and stalin-hats".

You put a scarf and a stalin-hat on the coat hanger, and cannot help but think you're stylish. No matter where you come from, apparently.

Not only were there no more of these items left, but there was also no more human life. None. Zilch.
Where the souls of those billions of people went, nobody could tell for sure.
The extraterrestrials soon left the planet, after giving all the husky-dogs superhuman intelligence.

 Some other Trout titles to definitely look into are, "The Day The Earth Heard Nothing But The Pink Floyd", "The Octopus's Journey to Saturn and the Death of Uranus" and "The Time Ballet was Used to Free The Slaves of Isador Gamma"

Author's note: * (pronounced [ghee-zik]) - the textual representation of "higher dimension"

And I end my thoughts hereof: Allez-hop!

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